my dad never told me he loved me.

Im not really superstitious, but thuesday 22th january 2009 3:25pm hit a little harder than usual.

I still think of him several times but not every day. Not in sad or painful way. Not like sentimental scenes in the movies or dramas.

My dad never actually told me he love me, he never kissed me even once that i can remember.
for me it is perfectly fine.
i was his last child, and his last son and of course my expectation is suppose to be a little bit higher.
But for us its doesnt meaning anything.

I remember the last time when i kissed and said goodbye, and then i finally told him i love him.
I know he didnt hear me. He was dead. but fu** it. i know he knew like i did.

it is strange how death make more comfortable in saying "i love u" when they are never said it before.

maybe in our family it is more about doing than just saying.